near and far

As I’ve spent most of the past 10 years trying to escape, it’s finally caught up with me. I turned 22 yesterday after living in Rhode Island, my 5th place of residence in 5 years, for 2 weeks. My homes, and pieces of my heart:

  1. Colorado: the real home. spent my formative years there, the family lives there.
  2. Virginia: the wonderful commonwealth. spent my undergraduate years there, hated it at first, now i miss it more than i ever thought possible. i’ve had my heart totally ripped out of my body now that i’ve left. i can’t believe i’m an alum.
  3. Wellington, New Zealand: the enzed. studied abroad there and had a remarkable semester that taught me so much more about myself than expected.
  4. D.C.: spent a phenomenal summer interning there. what a magnificent city.
  5. and now, Rhode Island: time for law school. My 1L year at least.

I spent my 22nd birthday alone. Cue the scene in Bridget Jones’s Diary where she’s alone, drunk, and singing All By Myself. That was pretty much me, only in August in the States. I ran far away from Colorado after a pretty shitty high school experience. I just wanted to start over. So I did. I moved 1600 miles away to “the East Coast”, whatever that meant to the 17 year old at the time. And it was the best decision of my life. Those 4 years went by like a whirlwind and I’m devastated they’re over. But alas, as Dion Boucicault says, “men talk of killing time, while time quietly kills them”.

Then I went abroad. Why I picked New Zealand is a very vague concept, but it was wonderful. I think regardless of where people study abroad, it is the act of moving to a different country with brand new people and living by yourself that is of value. A beautiful place which I would like to visit again for various reasons.

Then I [did various things] and went to law school in Rhode Island. I don’t know why I picked up here, perhaps because I could start fresh at a law school that would let my shitty grades in. I don’t like it. I’ll be fair and wait to pass significant judgment on the place, but my plan is to keep very high grades and transfer to a school in Virginia if I can. I love everywhere I’ve lived, but Virginia is where I want to grow old. Virginia is where I found myself. Virginia is where the most wonderful people live. Virginia is heaven.

Which leads me to my next point. Because I’ve spent all of my recent life running to something new, I now have friends all over the place. Except for with me. Some of my best friends are in California, North Carolina, Boston, and of course Virginia. [I’ve pretty much lost touch with everyone I went to high school with and that’s totally okay with me. I wasn’t ever happy there and never felt like I had a place or true friends.] That leaves me alone and by myself. That just means I need to make new friends, but it’s tough. Considering how amazing my friends are, I have a really high standard and just haven’t really met anyone yet that I think can live up to it. We’ll see, you never know if after a year I’ve fallen in love with living by Newport and want to live here the rest of my life. But I just don’t think I want to stay away from Virginia. God I love that place.

So here’s your chance, Rhode Island. Do your best. I’ll study study study and see where I stand in April.


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