so it’s been… 5 months since my last post. you’ll have to forgive me – life is hectic and insane. i’ll do the best i can this semester, but i’m working a lot more, so less free time.
i survived my first semester of law school! not only that, but i did well academically. really well, actually. the grades weren’t necessarily the letters i wanted, but comparatively, i did well. it was a solid showing and i’m busting tail this semester to do even better. i’m definitely considering transferring, but won’t make a decision until once i hear back. i might stay, i might go, but at this point the economy sucks and i need to go to a more competitive school. plus, i miss the district/commonwealth and want to make it back.
after leaving sweet briar, i’ve had a lot of problems with happiness. that’s not really a surprise, but i’m starting to get a grip on it and be able to manage it. happiness is a choice one makes, and leaving the best place ON EARTH is very difficult. but, my friends here are solid, and i’m really focusing on my studies and trying to figure out who i am as a person. i’m trying to find my “spot” academically so that i can get out in the legal world and kick ass. we’ll see. the past 8 months have taught me how vital my family is to who i am. my dad is my best friend and his advice is invaluable. i’ve realized that friends are who we make into our families. growing up is tough, but as i’m figuring out who i am, i can figure out life.
there is a hemingway quote which has been instrumental in my understanding of life right now. “the world breaks everyone, and afterward many are strong in the broken places.” i’m mending, but that’s a different post for a different time. suffice it to say i’ve changed immeasurably in the past year, and definitely for the better.
recently i’ve been checking books out of the library and reading for fun for 30 minutes or so in bed. it’s been great. i’m just finishing tobias wolff’s old school, and it’s great. i’m trying to do something for me every day, and reading is where it’s at. here’s one of my favorite quotes:
“And even as it’s happening you understand that just as your father’s troubles with the world – emotional frailty, self-doubt, incomplete honesty – will not lead him to set it on fire, your own loyalty will never be the stuff of tragedy. You will not turn bravely and painfully from your father as the boy in the story does, but forsake him without regret. And as you accept that separation, it seems to happen; your father’s sad, fleshy face grows vague, and you blink it away and look up to where your master leans against his desk, one hand in coat pocket, the other rubbing his bum knee as he listens desolately to the clever bore behind you saying something about bird imagery.”
it’s a book much like the other prep-school coming-of-age stories, but it’s beautiful in its prose, simplicity, and elegance. not a single word is wasted. it speaks to me, as very few books can. “I understood that nothing stood between me and my greatest desires – nothing between me and greatness itself – but the temptation to doubt my will and bow to counsels of moderation, expedience, and conventional morality, and shrink into the long, slow death of respectability.”
with that, it is time for bed. hopefully i’ll be back to blog more frequently.