running away?

i have to get out, i just cannot stay.

i’ve lived: out west, in the south, abroad, and in new england. and i know that i belong in the south [well, mid-atlantic version of the south, not the deep south] or out west.

so i’m applying to transfer. i’m going to make a lot of calls and work on my personal statements over break, but i’m applying to schools in DC, colorado, and virginia. i pray that one of them will be willing to let me in, because i can’t imagine staying up here long-term. hell, i can’t even imagine staying up here for 2 more years.

but does that mean i’m running away? i ran away from colorado after high school. at first, i hated sweet briar. and then i started to like it. and then i loved it. and then i went abroad. and i hated it there for a while. and then i started to like it. and then i loved it [and loved it more once i returned stateside]. and then i fell irrevocably in love with sweet briar and was ripped away. now i hate it here. is this something i’ll get over? i like to think that i’ve matured and my reasons for wanting to go back to virginia are because i’ve grown up and wish i’d stopped running away in may. but i just don’t know.

for now, i’m here. and i’ll revel in it.

  • i’ll go to the newport tourist attractions before the summer crowds get here.
  • i’ll run by the water
  • i’ll do yoga everyday. there’s nowhere near to do bikram, but just regular yoga should at the very least center me.

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