drifting

i’ve been feeling a bit directionless lately.

like i’m just drifting while life passes me by.

i don’t really know what i’m doing or where i’m going.

i’m hoping it’s just a bad case of wanderlust and my summer out west will help.

i go through waves of nostalgia – sometimes i’m doing fine living in the moment, and then other times my pain of missing what i had is so palpable, i can’t even handle it. all i do is zone out and think about sweet briar, new zealand, riding, golfing, sailing. i’m incredibly lucky to have had all those experiences to miss, but wow is it hard. i hope i didn’t peak at 21.

i’m hoping i’ll get a goal, some direction this summer. i’m hoping that i’ll figure my next step out about the future.

it’s funny though, senior year of college i thought the only thing i wanted in the world was law school. now that i’m here, i would give everything to have sweet briar back – those friends, that campus, my professors, and the amazing horses. it’s funny how what we want changes so much when we get it.

that is the land of lost content, i see it shining plain, the happy highways where i went and cannot come again.

–a.e. housman

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “drifting

  1. i don’t think you’ll find anyone who goes through law school and doesn’t feel that way at some point. all i ever wanted to be is a lawyer and my second year, i had a few moments of “what the hell am i doing this for?”

  2. phew.

    i’m not sure my problem comes from hating law school as much as it is my peter pan syndrome. but i’m SOL until time travel is created.

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