i’ve been feeling a bit directionless lately.
like i’m just drifting while life passes me by.
i don’t really know what i’m doing or where i’m going.
i’m hoping it’s just a bad case of wanderlust and my summer out west will help.
i go through waves of nostalgia – sometimes i’m doing fine living in the moment, and then other times my pain of missing what i had is so palpable, i can’t even handle it. all i do is zone out and think about sweet briar, new zealand, riding, golfing, sailing. i’m incredibly lucky to have had all those experiences to miss, but wow is it hard. i hope i didn’t peak at 21.
i’m hoping i’ll get a goal, some direction this summer. i’m hoping that i’ll figure my next step out about the future.
it’s funny though, senior year of college i thought the only thing i wanted in the world was law school. now that i’m here, i would give everything to have sweet briar back – those friends, that campus, my professors, and the amazing horses. it’s funny how what we want changes so much when we get it.
that is the land of lost content, i see it shining plain, the happy highways where i went and cannot come again.