i’ve debated long and hard about whether to post this, whether i wanted my blog to get personal. but that’s the point, no? so here we go. something real.
with just a splash of aftershave, his scent teases, but doesn’t linger. burying my face into his collar, i smell a combination of wood, tobacco, and a touch of espresso. he’s a man’s man – he hunts and fishes and skis. he’s educated, intelligent, well-traveled. he’s assertive and independent, takes risks, lives on his own terms.
with every new story, the more of an enigma he becomes. with every rendezvous, the harder i fall. i don’t believe in love, but these feelings are quickly becoming something i can’t describe. i don’t know how it will play out – he lives 400 miles away and is out of my league. i do know that every time his name lights up my phone, my heart skips a beat. that when i’m with him, the rest of the world falls away.
he came to boston this weekend but didn’t tell me. i heard my name called out in that familiar drawl. as i turned, an arm wrapped around me, a familiar touch. i spent the rest of our time in a blissful obliviousness of the world beyond the two of us.
i don’t know what tomorrow holds. but for the first time in my life, i’m content to just be. to enjoy what is now and, borrowing from ms. dickinson, to dwell in possibility.