when i started applying for jobs for this summer, i knew it was going to suck – the market is terrible. i approached it with the attitude of i just need one yes and dove in. i sent my damn resume, cover letter, and writing sample to every firm and government agency i could find from coast to coast. i got used to receiving emails saying no dice [though every single one hurt].
this one, though, was special. it was the perfect job, as though god himself created it with me in mind [read: hyperbole, not narcissism]. when i was invited to interview, my heart bounced out of my chest. but then they told me how tight the competition was and my heart sank – there was no way i was going to get one of two spots with that kind of competition. but somehow the fates smiled on me and here i am.
last week was my first week and it was petrifying. i sat in on a bazillion video conferences with the other offices across the country. i wrote a memo that got ripped to shreds. i wore my prettiest suits, to at least pretend like i fit in. i got lectured about confidentiality [big cases = big need to keep my mouth shut]. i treaded water all week, hoping not to let them know they messed up in hiring me.
this week, on the other hand, has been awesome. of course i’m still terrified, but it’s a bit more manageable. we have two cases going to SCOTUS right now. and it is awesome. i’ve met clients and talked to the media. today one of my bosses sent a firm-wide email calling me out for pointing to a new theory in my memo. tiny victory, but there are people who got that email who are my litigation idols – people who are the reason i went to law school. i’m trying to bottle up this new and quite welcome feeling because i know it’s not going to last.
the other clerk doesn’t show up until next week. frankly at this point, i don’t want him. i’m comfortable with my bosses and my position right now – they trust me and like the work i’m doing. it’s a good harmony, why throw it off?
i keep pinching myself to realize that this is real. this is what i wanted and it’s better than i could have imagined.
i just wish i could tweet more. and tell you guys about all the cool stuff we’re working on. and keep up with my reader better. and sweat less [holy balls is it hot].
also, i wanted to share this song. it was on the radio on my way in to the first day of work and i’m obsessed with it. when i hear new songs i like, i hit repeat over and over again until i can’t listen to it any more. have you guys heard it? i’m dubbing it my song of summer, 2010 version.