so tomorrow is my very last first day of school. i’ll wait until then to post some reflections and what it feels like, but for now: whoa. whoa, time. whoa, life. just slow down a bit, please?
i am on The Great Job Search of Twenty Ten. searching for my first “real” job; one that isn’t a ten-week stint somewhere for the summer, one that will take over my life. this will be my first experience with Responsibilities, Benefits, and Salary. holy intimidation batman!
i’ve had my resume in the same set up since undergrad and figured it was due for a makeover. thanks to some very frank, honest, and useful suggestions from a number of people (including jaime, the lovely lady i owe a bajillion tons of vodka and undying gratitude), it looks infinitely better. hopefully it will reel in some good opportunities.
the scariest part about all of this is the promised rejection that is coming my way. it doesn’t matter how much i’ve prepared myself to hear “no thanks you suck,” it’s still fucking soul-crushing to not get something i really really wanted. most of it is due to the fact that the resume is me. when they don’t like my resume, it’s because they don’t like who i am, which is the worst form of rejection. but, rejection is part of the job search, so i just have to suck it up and blanket the world with resumes/cover letters/transcripts and hope they catch an eye somewhere.
the job i had this summer was the most spectacular and wonderful thing i’ve ever done. i absolutely L-O-V-E-D it. the firm is a public interest firm dealing with only a very specific type of cases. they had five offices with thirty-five total clerks, and all but three go to a T14 school. (i ain’t one of those 32.) as a general rule, the firm doesn’t hire straight from law school. they’re very good at what they do, partially because they don’t waste time training fresh lawyers. i got an email from them last week that they have an opening now and are willing to hold it for one of us, if we’re the “right” candidate. hold the fucking phone – this is my Dream Job, something i didn’t think was even an option until last week. i would do anything to get it (probably not exaggerating). unfortunately, i’ve been paralyzed with fear writing my cover letter. this has to be the best cover letter i’ve ever written if i have any hope of getting an interview. the rejection from this job wouldn’t just be soul-crushing, it would be crippling in every single way. le sigh.
welp, back to it. hoping to get the Dream Job app in today and putting in tons (less paralyzingly intimidating) in the coming weeks. lordy i want a job.