i am in a war with a 1L. to paraphrase general patton, the object here is to make the bastard lose, and i.will.win.

you see, there are carrels all throughout the library. all 1L and 2L year, i used the same one. tomtom and i have carrels right next to each other (the office) and study, whisper, and harass each other frequently. this semester, i’m interning in the city two days a week and tomtom is also gone two days a week for his internship, so the office is a hollow remnant of what it used to be.

apparently in my absence, a 1L has made my carrel home. this shouldn’t be a problem, but he’s an uppity, entitled little shit. a few weeks ago, he waltzed in, saw i was in his spot, and asked me to move. i politely declined his offer. yesterday, he was furious to discover i was, yet again, in his spot. so he yelled at me. a snippet:

1L: um, that’s my seat.

me: really? that’s funny, i didn’t think there were assigned seats in the lib.

1L: i’ve been sitting there all year. can you find somewhere else?

me: i’ve been sitting here for 2 years,  but that doesn’t matter. this is law school, not primary school. there are no dibs. the library opens at 7:30 and operates on a first-come, first-served basis.

1L: but i’ve become attached to that seat!

me: neat. [plus the requisite eye-roll]

1L: please?

me: no. go away.

now i want to be vindictive and come in more mornings, just to take the spot. not that i particularly need it, just that i don’t want him to have it. i realize this is akin to me stomping my feet and whining like a 5 year old, but this could be a fun little game.

also? reason #9536 why everyone despises law students.



Filed under asshole alert, law school

18 responses to “war!

  1. Dude I am not in law school but I would have my ass in that seat by 7:31 every single morning just to make him miserable.

    Want to take that trip to hell together?

  2. I would slap a ho. That’s all I can really say here.

    It’s annoying enough to move all your stuff when people are being loud/annoying. No way would I do it for some elective reason.

  3. brittany: haha, that is indeed the plan. i sealed my fate of an eternity in hell ages ago and would love all the company i can get. 😉

    jamie: slap a ho, i like it.

  4. This is so awful, but it would get me in that seat by 7:29 every. single. morning.

    Clearly the Evil Princess broke out and is roaming the Planet this evening.


  5. Slap a Ho, cut a bitch – to quote the font of wisdom from an old Black Sheep song, the choice is yours.

  6. LMC

    this post rocks. that conversation made me laugh aloud.

  7. TP: i love the evil princess, she should roam more often.

    RR: yes! love the black sheep reference! haha thanks.

    LMC: it was so fun to infuriate him. i’m still evil. 🙂

  8. yes!!!! OH MY GOD! I’m telling you, i’ve HAD THIS FIGHT! oh my gosh! hahahaha!

  9. VM: did you slap a kid too? i think i finally understand why people hate our generation.


    ummmmm “all year”? it is october 9. OCTOBER. that means you’ve sat there for MAYBE two months. MAYBE. doubtful though. i hate assholes. i’m pretty sure you should sit there all day every day. in fact i will come help you sit there, just so he can’t.

  11. behrlie: please do! hahaha we’re trouble.

  12. Someone’s cruising for a punch in the face. (Him, I mean).

  13. Gotta defend your territory, if you give in just once that’ll be the end of the battle.
    “Now I want you to remember that no bastard ever [graduated from law school] by [giving up her carrel to a 1L]. [She] won it by making the other poor dumb bastard [submit to her will and quit being a whiny little punk].”

  14. AJ

    “also? reason #9536 why everyone despises law students.”

    this. 1Ls and 3Ls alike.

  15. malnurtured snay: he is indeed cruisin’ for a bruisin.

    foggy dew: this situation definitely captures patton’s essence, yes? 😉

    AJ: oh i know. we’re a miserable bunch of fuckwits.

  16. A true lawyer would have said: “What’s it worth to you? I’m willing to negotiate.”

  17. haha – it didn’t get physical but she like, stood over me for 5 minutes. it was SO awkward. did she think i was going to get up and she could sneak in? I told her that she could stand there as long as she wanted but I wasn’t going anywhere.

  18. LA Cochran: must master that skill before graduation! eek!

    VM: how obscenely awkward! i don’t get why it’s such a big deal!

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