i think it’s fair to say that most people have had a roommate at some point, whether in college, after college, or whatever. it’s an easy way to cut costs, live somewhere nicer than you could afford on your own, and ease the transition from childhood to adulthood. over the years, i’ve had an interesting parade of roommates:


  • the religious hippie: my roommate from my first year of college. she was the very first person i’d shared space with who i wasn’t related to, so naturally, it was rocky. probably didn’t help things that i was crazy that year. i dated a bunch of men she hated and she was not shy about letting me know that i was infuriating the heavens by hanging out with such an array of douchebaggery (i excused it all because, hey, BOW TIES). it also didn’t help that she was a hippie and very fervent about her religious beliefs (see nickname).
  • the eye doctor: sophomore year. we balance lots of fun with an immense amount of work. and, other than the times i walked in on her knocking boots (the sock on the door trick is still very much necessary), we were a great duo. she’s currently in eye doctor school.
  • the new zealand emo trio: i lived in a flat with the three most emo individuals alive. one of the girls had a twin who lived with them, but had just flunked out and i took her old space. a republican-voting 19 year old peppy and preppy american who was really excited to be of a legal drinking age wasn’t quite what they were looking for to fill the void.
  • the sheeper: new zealand changed me a lot and returning was very underwhelming. when i got back, i lived with one girl, the sheeper (she has an obsession with sheep, don’t ask), and except for one epic fight at the beginning, we were fantastic together. bless her and her patience for living with the brattiest, most petulant girl around.
  • A&J: she.nan.i.gans. senior year of college was the best experience ever. we were crazy busy, partied all the time, and, even though we fought sometimes, had a fantastic year. in hindsight, i could’ve lived there forever.
law school
  • the danish girl, M: my first year i lived in grad school housing. sheer luck left me without a roommate first semester, but an email in october changed all that. dear firecracker, we are pleased to let you know that a foreign exchange student, M, will be joining us in the spring. she’ll be your roommate. here’s her email, be nice. i was REALLY excited and determined to give her the living abroad experience i didn’t get (see bullet 3 above). when she showed up i took her shopping and to school and we talked about everything. she lasted 5 days before returning to denmark.
  • the current roommate: we met in DC my summer after 1L where we partied like crazy. she transfered to my school and we found a great house near the water. we are, to put it mildly, very different people. where i’m fiercely independent and rational, she loves to be around people 24/7 and is very emotional. sometimes it’s good and sometimes (ie now) it leads to weeks-long fights. she just ended a 2-week long silent treatment of me–she’s 25.
i’ve had some great roommates, seen a lot of stress from them, given a ton of headache, and i’m finally at the point where i cannot wait to live alone. it’s been fun to share space with friends, but when i’ve had a tough day/week/month, all i want to do is plop onto the couch with a bottle glass of wine, catch up with my DVR, and rest my weary little brain. i don’t want to have to worry about inadvertently offending her or worrying about whether my bubble bath will increase the water bill too much or making sure i grabbed the right cream cheese in the fridge. i just want to be alone. much of this is due to my charming personality (i’m an asshole), but i hope i can tone it down before i move in with a boy someday. for now, i’ve got my eyes on june–i’ll have graduated and be studying for the bar after moving somewhere awesome for an awesome job (fingers crossed) and will be able to live all alone and bask in the glory of solitude.
do you guys enjoy your roommates? any epic fights? amazeballs stories?


Filed under asshole alert, life

10 responses to “roommates.

  1. Brittany

    I only ever had one good roommate. Out of…6. Freshman year, I too, went through a hard time and I know I was not very easy to live with. One of my freshman roommates was insane herself, and the other one wasn’t so bad (except to say you probably shouldn’t share a 10×10 room with a good friend with a long distance boyfriend who has phone sex when she thinks you are asleep). It went downhill from there sophomore year when I lived with a certified alcoholic who totaled three cars that year and ran all over (not literally) our other two roommates, who doormat best friends. Junior year was fun, I finally lived with a sane woman and she was eventually one of my roommates, and I married my roommate from senior year 🙂

    Talking about living with a significant other: Let me tell you, living with someone is SO much easier when you share the same values/world-view. You might have different preferences about dishes (and not to say that it’s not annoying, but hopefully your conflict resolution skills are much more mature than if you had the same disagreement with friends/other roommates), but in the end you are building a life together, and a home together, and it’s just easier to get along!

  2. Brittany

    Gosh. That was bad. The sane woman was eventually one of my *bridesmaids.* And the doormat roommates were the best friends of the alcoholic. She was the leader, they were helpless puppies who did anything she told them to do. It was insane.

  3. So my freshman year roommate threw a fridge at me. Among other things.

    Sophomore year I lived with my college bff. Junior year I lived alone for a semester because my program mistakenly thought I had some sort of medical issue (fortuitous- diagnosed with diabetes 6 months later). When I got back to school and was in an LDR, I lived with a girl who pretty much epitomized women’s college and probably couldn’t tell you what LDR stood for (and was morally opposed to going past 1st base and went to bed at 10pm… yeah we were a GREAT match). But that was it.

    Oh at one point when I was teaching and he was still in school, we had a roommate. Yeah it’s not a good thing to be a couple living with another person. Ever since we have lived ALONE. You sacrifice a little space and sophistication (since I’m not working and a 1bed on 1 income in DC is not cheap) but you get a lot of sanity. In law school I can’t imagine it any other way.

  4. LMC

    GREAT post. for some reason i find this very humorous too. probably bc i almost always had a private room growing up, so i can relate to the struggle of sharing a space (once you finally have to).

    religious hippie…. you were religious too. maybe not as fervent as she, but you enjoyed & own almost as much christian contemporary music as she does. also… i thought you avoided hsc guys? not freshman year, then?

    the eye doctor… why didn’t you guys live together junior or senior year? did she find another roommate while you were abroad & decided to stick w/ them? i remember hearing about your unintended encounters w/ the eye doctor & her boyfriend, lol.

    the sheeper… why didn’t i know she was obsessed w/ sheep? i guess i was living in a cave. i remember hearing from you about the epic fight @ the beginning. ah, memories…

    a&j… that room ROCKED. remember aec posted her grad school rejection letters on the bathroom wall? remember your wednesday night trips to w&l for lsat prep? remember when j got kicked in the mouth & lost like 15 lbs in 2 weeks? senior year was awesome!

    why did the danish girl only stay for 5 days?

  5. brittany: holy cow! that is quite the collection of roommates! you’re rocking a 17% success rate for roommate sanity–ouch.

    jamie: a FRIDGE?!?! AT you? holy hell.

    LMC: no fair since you actually know these people IRL. you’re right i was faithful, too, but i promised myself i wouldn’t use my faith/religion as a support for my judgment of others. RH was so very judgmental; we didn’t get along well at all. ED wanted a single so she wouldn’t have to worry about any “unintended encounters.” think about sheeper’s initials. and senior year, i went to W&L three times per week. it was exhausting. and danish girl stayed for 5 days because she was homesick.

  6. I am kind of laughing – esp. with LMC’s comment about A’s rejection letters in the bathroom. That was quite classic!

    And sadly, I don’t think we were good friends before your 3rdish-4th year so I can’t make out the other ones… :p

    As for roomates, I probably am like you. I like my own SPACE.

    I had K the first year. At first I thought we would be a fantastic duo, until I walked in on her bf naked lying on the floor (don’t ask me why). Yeaahh…

    Second year was god-awful. Lived with hermit goth. I am about the opposite of goth possible. I LIKE friends, and colors, and inviting people out. Let’s just say, she became passive agressive and launched an attack on me, via email to all of our mutual friends.

    3rd and 4th year were amazing! Lived with same roommate. The only time it got iffy was when she had me cover for her all the time, and the BF she was cheating on, hid outside our apt and waited until I got home, and demanded for me to tell him where she was/with whom. stalker-ish…

    I’m holding out to see how Grad School turns out, to be honest…



    love it. and your room senior year was my FAVORITE. ooooo roommates. I feel you on this issue. Best solution: live with a guy that has two pet snakes. or AS. those were definitely my favorite roommates. ahhhh the times when AS and I would come back to our room junior year, look at each other, say nothing, and immediately start watching band of brothers. amazing.

    I’ll be your roommate!! We can just come home, pour ourselves a glass of wine (or jameson) and put in west wing. no exchange of words necessary.

  8. i’ve had two negative roommate situations outta the MULTITUDE that i’ve had. the first was soph yr of college. the second was first year of law school. and let me tell you that second one was NUTS. i could talk for hours on that subject.

  9. Tay

    It is amazing just how a good roommate can improve your life vastly and a bad one can break it. I had some HORRENDOUS roommates through college, and some of which were due to us being friends, but bad roommates. It’s a good lesson; just because you can be great friends with someone does not mean you can be good roommates. It’s hard to know which can be which.

    After college I lived alone in a new city and never felt so alone in my life. I loved having the time to myself sometimes; I could eat whenever I liked, get up whenever, watch whatever I wanted on TV, but it was a) very expensive (bills are all on you) and b) very lonely. I then moved BACK IN with roommates, and they were by far the best I’ve ever had. We sometimes cooked together, our dogs had playmates, we had similar (but different enough) schedules, and we all liked the same TV. But that’s a rare find.

    Now living with my boyfriend it’s another adjustment, but I still like the companionship.

  10. rebecca: it was supposed to be our wall of shame, but i only had rejection letters in hand until april and couldn’t bear to post them without an acceptance! re: your second year. i love my alma mater, but the passive aggressiveness and negative female characteristics that place breeds is ridiculous.

    behrlie: yes! the non-stinky snakes! i like our plan.

    VM: okay well now you HAVE to share.

    tay: i think you said the most important thing–good friends aren’t necessarily good roommates and roommates don’t have to be friends.

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