a whole new meaning to “feeling stabby”

morning kids!

first, i’d like to say thank you to dcblogs for linking me the other day. so nice. and a big hello to the new faces around here. excited to have yall. 🙂

and now, a story.

(via)

i’ve mentioned my externship a few times around these parts. as i don’t want to be googleable, suffice to say i work for a certain state agency. the kind where they throw people in jail. the kind focused on people under 18. i spend 2 days a week throwing kiddies in jail and get school credit for it! it’s not really what i want to do as a career, but i’m getting great experience and can add something else to my resume.

even though i’m not a lawyer yet, i get to speak in court as a special intern. you know how in legally blonde elle “represented” brooke wyndham? it’s kind of like that, but on a much smaller scale. and i wear navy and gray suits, not pink ones. and i don’t talk about hair care.  so it’s the less awesome version. but still. better than sitting in class.

anyway, these kids are all kinds of awful. i only deal with the big cases and they do some scary ass shit. example: this kid i sent away yesterday stabbed 4 people with a veryvery big knife.

because i send their precious little babies away, the parents turn their wrath toward me. because heaven forbid it be their fault for raising such a kid. the kids are just misunderstood! it’s my fault for throwing them in kiddie prison! now i’m not denying the social justice problems–most are from terrible homes and neighborhoods, full of gangs and all kinds of terrible stuff where i wouldn’t last 5 minutes, let alone an entire childhood. but that’s not my problem. i advocate for the victims; my job is to protect the community and get these kids the help they need.

after sending stabby mcgee away yesterday, i’m pretty sure his mom threatened me. and by pretty sure, i mean i know she did because i told the sheriff who escorted her away. my eyes are now bugging out of my head looking for the would-be shanker. apparently shanking runs in the family.

**this is a story i will not be sharing with my parents. so if you know me IRL (coughcough BROTHER), don’t you dare tell them. otherwise, i’ll shank you.

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7 Comments

Filed under law school, Uncategorized

7 responses to “a whole new meaning to “feeling stabby”

  1. All I could think about when I was reading this post was “Oh, that reminds me of the 7th graders I taught in California!”

    Really.

    Scary.

    I’d keep tabs on that one lol.

  2. As I was reading, to continue the trend, I was thinking about all the knuckleheads I dealt with as a reporter. I was about to say “you wouldn’t believe the calls I’d get,” after writing some of my stories. But I’m guessing you could. Kids are scary because you never know what they’re going to do. All id, no super-ego.

  3. jamie: really? that’s terrifying!

    foggy dew: they haven’t yet figured out they aren’t bullet-proof, which is freakin scary. i hadn’t thought about it in freud terms, but that’s completely accurate!

  4. You have the coolest (scariest) life ever. 😉

  5. nice. i never get to use the word “shank” in my daily life.

  6. rebecca: i’d be okay with being bored once in a while, too.

    VM: it’s a word not used enough in our society.

  7. not even a lawyer yet and you’ve already got some great war stories.

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