after this tweet on tuesday, i owe you guys a full story. with pictures (or it didn’t happen, right bob?). so here. an illustrated story.

i had a junior league meeting tuesday night and as such, needed to take some baked goods. not sure why i bother because those women don’t believe in carbs, but still, i am known to bake some mighty delicious sweets on occasion. and it’s always nice to unwind from weeks of hell exams by cooking.

so i preheat the oven as normal and mix together my delicious mississippi mud brownies. most will be sad, lonely little brownies, left uneaten at the carb-haters not-so-anonymous meeting.

everything is fine, but then i open the oven and am greeted by this:

(pretend the door is open).

they’re not necessarily flames, but rather a FIREBALL that attacked my face. see:

so i throw the brownie pan on the counter and run to make sure my face isn’t on fire. all i could smell was burnt human and i was beyond terrified that i was actually on fire. thankfully i wasn’t, so i ran to check that the oven wasn’t on fire. it wasn’t, but the stench of gas was overwhelming and i was terrified the whole thing was about to blow.

i run outside, call my dad (yes, i’m 24 and still call my father with every imaginable issue) and landlord. my landlord came over and we called the fire department who sent three trucks and every on-duty (and three off-duty) firefighters. (it’s a small town). they checked to make sure there wasn’t a gas leak (they used an awesomesauce infrared camera) and that i was okay. the best part? several of them were rather dreamy.


(NB: yes, i really am this pale.)

unfortunately, the burny smell was my hair. specifically, my bangs, my eyebrows, and my eyelashes (seriously—they’re split at the ends and super crispy). i conditioned my hair for 20 minutes this morning, so hopefully it’ll be okay, but it looks awful.

a few of the firefighters were wicked cute, unfortunately our place looked like a frat house because of the post-exam bender mild celebration combined with the fact we don’t clean during exams (don’t judge, i’m studying in the lawbrary 15 hours a day and can’t bear to clean when i get home).

so now i’m brainstorming for how to get them out to my house again. cat in the tree won’t work as we don’t have a cat. suggestions welcome.



Filed under i am an idiot., life

10 responses to “FIREBALL.

  1. Okay, I was totally confused and thought that tweet was some sort of metaphor for going into a final exam. I’m really glad you’re okay!

    When I was in high school, my stupid-ass-why-did-I-date-him boyfriend made a special kind of brownies, had a similar fireball experience and called the fire department. He ended up getting arrested. So this is all by way of saying that I am glad no legal troubles ensued for you.

  2. Shannon

    1. I’m glad you’re okay, but next time you need to milk it for the dreamy firemen.

    2. I am dying laughing at Jamie’s comment.

  3. During a failed attempt to get a multi-fuel stove filled with diesel started, my platoon sergeant decided to lean over to blow out the smoldering puddle of fuel pooled in the bottom of the stove. Turns out all the stove needed was a big burst of oxygen from, say, someone leaning over to blow it out. His head was instantly engulfed in the biggest non-explosively-caused ball of flame I’d seen to that point in my life. He lost all his hair – head, eyebrows, eye lashes – and said it felt like he’d shaved with glass.

    Glad you’re OK. As for the firefighters, invite them over for a thank you drink. Firefighters like that kind of stuff. Or, better yet, visit their station on Christmas day with a big plate of your Mississippi Mud brownies. Then ask them back to your place to “check your oven one more time” and let nature take its course.

  4. Well, I AM glad you’re okay! And we shall scheme to get the hunky firemen back to your house.

    Also, Jamie’s ex-boyfriend’s “special” brownies is cracking me up. I suggest you don’t try that approach. You don’t need jail

  5. jamie: bahaha no contraband at firecracker’s house, promise! that’s fantastic, though!

    shannon: my dang landlord was there, getting in the way of my game! next time.

    FD: your poor sergeant! you guys probably gave him hell, too, didn’t you? and i like the way you think–“here are some brownies. wink wink nudge nudge.”

    NTW: lots of ideas percolating! scheme we shall. 🙂

  6. OH my gosh!!! I’m glad that you are okay and lets be honest it made for a totally awesome story!!!

  7. Dude. Best pictures EVER. This is spectacular.

    PS, how did the brownies turn out?

    PPS, next time you are in Chicago, even if it is only for 30 minutes, you better be drinking with me.

  8. lindsey: my pain, my blog’s gain.

    amie: after all that, the brownies were a bit of a let down. sad. and noted–i will tweet you from ohare next time. promise.

  9. Another ParaLegal

    The way to a fireman’s heart is truely through the tummy! Make some of those yummy brownies and take them to the firehall! Hot men dealing with hot situations deserve a hot woman that make super sweets, right? 😀

  10. APL: done and done! i like the way you think. 😉

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