the requisite diatribe against VD.

as you may know, valentine’s day is tomorrow. saint valentine, or valentinus,  is the namesake for the holiday which pope gelasius established more than 1500 years ago. no one really knows much about valentinus , but chaucer (the rat bastard) turned it into the lovey dovey holiday it is today.


people are very opinionated about this hallmark holiday. most either firmly hate it or love it, often (though not always) based on whether they find themselves in a relationship in the middle of february.

i’m a stereotype–i’m single and i hate it. BUT, allow me to explain myself: i hate it regardless of my relationship status and i decidedly do not have pity parties when i’m single on the day nor do i celebrate it when i’m involved with someone.

i hate it because it is artificial. if love exists (which i doubt, but that’s another post for another time), why must you dedicate a day to buying a bunch of shit to express it? if you’re in love, why not express it throughout the year, however you feel you can rather than waiting for some random day in february to don your pink/red and get mushy?

i hate it because it is cliché. people expect single girls to have pity parties with ben & jerry and romcoms while they expect girls in relationships to swoon over some red roses and a box of chocolates.

i hate it because it is easy. life isn’t some pre-packaged experience, but valentine’s day makes love as simple as picking a #6 from mcdonalds. real emotions are complex, powerful, and difficult, not so easily defined.

don’t call me a curmudgeon or a grinch–i celebrate life every day, i just can’t celebrate this iteration. that said, if you enjoy it, fantastic, go for it. i’m just saying why i don’t like it. (but i will go to the grocery on tuesday and snag some 1/2 price chocolates. don’t judge.)



Filed under asshole alert, life

8 responses to “the requisite diatribe against VD.

  1. I have to confess that I’ve never quite understood the love/hate relationship. I never hated Valentine’s Day when I was single — my friends and I would do silly things like tie balloons to car antennas or stuff lockers with Hershey’s kisses and have sleepovers with heart-shaped cookie cakes. It was just a silly, fun day to do something a little special. Now that I’m married, it’s exactly the same way. Husband and I exchange silly cards (not sappy romantic ones) whenever we see each other (since living apart means of course we’ve never see each other on the day itself), maybe I’ll try to pour some pancakes in the shape of a heart, and that’s it. No flowers, no big dinners, no chocolate, no bragging about why my husband is better than yours, no big deal.

    I guess I should thank my childhood friends for filling my Valentine’s Day with silliness, so I never felt any pressure to love or hate it as I grew up, and my college friends for maintaining the same thoughts. I have yet to actually meet anyone in my life who really expects anything worthwhile out of Valentine’s Day, so I don’t quite understand where all these people are hiding that make the holiday so cliche.

  2. I’m totally MEH about VD. Just like I don’t make new year’s resolutions or give stuff up for lent (if I need a life change, I’ll change it when I’m ready, not at some arbitrary date), I don’t need a day to remind me that my husband is pretty nifty. Or a day to remind me that he pisses me off a lot. I generally forget that VD is even happening, and then when I remember I’m like “Oh, Pete. I’m not getting you a card. Deal with it.” and he doesn’t care because he isn’t getting me one either.

  3. Shannon

    I actually don’t care about VDay, one way or another. Don’t hate it when I’m single, don’t love it when I’m in a relationship. But since the last person I dated was someone who, one night (out of nowhere), flew into a rage and shoved me down a hallway, I find myself actually quite happy this year on this day. I think because I am glad that I am smart enough to not be dating a lunatic – and not so desperate to not be single that I ignore huge red flags. Sadly, I have friends who I cannot say the same for. So, my toast: To not being in bad relationships or with people who hurt us. Because being single isn’t nearly so bad compared to that:)

    Now, if we were fb friends, I would post this on your wall today. Because while I don’t hate this day, I do LOVE this scene, one of my favorites of all time:

  4. We made a deal that we would always do something on Vday instead of buy stuff. I feel like memories are way more valuable than a really expensive meal or chocolates or whatever. This year we went to the National Zoo, so the $ were going to a good cause and we had a ton of fun. We probably go out on a given weekend anyway, so we just do something decidedly romantic instead of, like, an action movie or rock climbing.

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