facebook be CRAYCRAY

unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that on tuesday casey anthony was acquitted of murdering her daughter caylee. opinion on the verdict seems to be in two distinct camps: those who think the jury was wrong (“HULLO, SHE DID IT”) and those who think the prosecution didn’t prove beyond a reasonable doubt (“HULLO, THE CONSTITUTION”). from my group of friends, opinions seem to be based on whether one went to law school. my law student and lawyer friends are nearly all of the second camp  while the first camp is almost completely made of people with strong opinions who didn’t go to law school. (certainly not 100% and this post is definitely NOT  a bash on non-legal types, just an observation.)

typical example (i’ve added some insightful commentary) (click to make it bigger):

intelligent minds can disagree about the casey anthony verdict, but to say that the jury is stupid (or FREAKING DUMB) is plain ignorant. the jurors were sequestered; they didn’t have access to some of the things the media has been showing and they certainly haven’t been watching nancy grace for the past six weeks. the trial was conducted in accordance with evidentiary rules and criminal procedure so that the verdict would be as fair as possible.

i gave up the thought long ago that i “knew” many things. certainly i have many opinions and there are some things i know, but whether or not casey killed caylee is something that NONE of us KNOW with certainty. what i do know is that the prosecution failed to meet their burden. beyond a reasonable doubt is an extraordinarily high standard and the prosecution did not provide enough evidence to displace with all doubt. that’s the standard in this country. without it, lynch mobs would be asserting “justice” by determining whether someone is guilty or not regardless of the evidence. constitutional protections, my friends, embrace it.

tuesday was a shitstorm on facebook. i heard all kinds of things on twitter about a facebook flame war over on ninja‘s wall. after a flurry of FB/twitter worlds colliding, all of the sudden MY wall was giving rise to an enormous firestorm. rather than describe it, i’ll let you read it:

it was going okay until kendra (a lady who owns the stables i used to ride at) inserted the dumbest statement of all time: you don’t understand because you don’t have kids. well excuuuuuuse me. i thought as a 24 year old i was allowed to form an opinion. apparently not. but ninja stepped in to save me. and then erin. and then zilla.

and then kendra defriended me.

i sent her message to the effect of “hey, my friends are a bit opinionated, hope your feelings weren’t hurt.” and i got this masterpiece in return:

i mean, i don’t even know where to start. should i start with the fact that the first amendment doesn’t apply? that we all have experiences and opinions? that telling someone she cannot understand something because she doesn’t have kids is super presumptuous and offensive? or that disagreeing with me on an issue doesn’t mean we cannot be friends?

good riddance, i suppose. i don’t get why she didn’t just delete the comment. but no, we’re no longer friends. hokay.

facebook be craycray.

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40 Comments

Filed under asshole alert

40 responses to “facebook be CRAYCRAY

  1. My favorite lost facebook friend – the girl who my ex-boyfriend cheated on me with who was outraged at the verdict. Snort. I’ll really miss, hun.

  2. i have no words for some people. if they want to get all high and mighty and be all butt-hurt when someone disagrees, that’s their prerogative. and at least you tried to reach out.

  3. shylyassertive

    Oh my. I didn’t get to see THIS flame war, because I’m not your friend on FB, but WOW. I have been unfriended a few times this week because of this same issue. I have a civilized disagreement with someone and all the sudden I’m the Devil. I have also hear the “you’ll understand when you have kids,” comment a few times. Like I said on twitter earlier…..Are you saying when I have kids I’ll grow a heart and lose my brain?

  4. Parker

    you know, in a way I agree with Kendra. You don’t have kids, and neither does LegallyFab. If it was an accident, WHO stuck her in a trash bag and who left her in the swamp? Well, if it was an accident under Casey Anthony’s watch, SHE did. Would a MOTHER who has any feelings toward her child lie about her whereabouts to people who were trying to help find her, such as the police? Would a MOTHER with ANY motherly instinct who cared about her daughter be out partying for 31 days, completely NOT phased and not grief stricken? No, I think only cold and callous sociopaths would.

    I’m also tired of of LegallyFabulous preaching tolerance (especially about homosexuals) if you are one of the most intolerant people on here when it comes to listening and respecting others opinions. You worked on it as a CLASS project. You ask why people can’t believe it was an ACCIDENT? Maybe something along the lines of not throwing a child in swamp in a trash bag if it’s an accident, let alone at all. People don’t even do that to their ANIMALS.

    One thing about Casey is this: she is cold, callous, and only concerned about herself. Maybe if she showed some genuine emotion and concern about her daughter and not making it all about “her, her, her” we would think differently about her. People say it’s all from the media. It’s not. People watched the case day in and day out, the same information presented to everyone, people watched her reaction in the courtroom, people base things off of their own experiences and common sense, like what a DECENT mother would do…because some of us are mothers.

    • And I’ll say the same thing I said to Kendra – she’s not on trial for being a bad mother. She was on trial for killing her child. There’s a really big difference. You can think she probably did it, or think that she’s a bad person or a bad mother. Totally your right. But “probably” isn’t “beyond a reasonable doubt” and what you’ve set forth in your comment doesn’t meet that standard as a legal matter. There simply wasn’t enough evidence to convict her, and I personally am really glad that the standards of proof require more than suspicion or probability. It’s how I know that the government will have a hard time convicting someone who has been framed or wrongly accused (which happens more than most think).

      In short, the court of mother’s intuition and public opinion are not the same as a court of law. But then, I suppose my opinion is also invalid because I chose not to have children. I guess that my believing we should uphold Constitutional rights and burdens of proof for everyone and look to the facts, not to our emotions makes me “cold blooded.” It’s OK – if you think that, you’re just wrong.

    • “People watched the case day in and day out, the same information presented to everyone, people watched her reaction in the courtroom, people base things off of their own experiences and common sense, like what a DECENT mother would do…because some of us are mothers.”
      I just want to comment that, unless you’ve sat in a courtroom, facing charges of murdering your own child, your experiences, even as a mother, will not compare to hers if you’re basing it on her behavior in the courtroom.
      Other than that, yes, the only other things we get are from the media and we know that the media these days exists to sell stories, more so than convey the truth.

    • Lol. yup. Just a little class project.

      Also – how am I intolerant? I have never once said that people aren’t entitled to their own opinions.
      You’re absolutely entitled to them. I just don’t have to listen to them/read about them. Just like you don’t have to listen to mine. That’s the great thing about the internet – no one has to read anything they don’t want to.

    • I’d argue that just because someone is not a MOTHER (or even just a lowly mother) that person does not automatically lose their ability to have a brain, have morals, understand unconditional love, feel empathy, or be full of horrible judgmental wrath. The number of MOTHERs out there who are suggesting that a mob of people should find Casey and provide their own warped view of “justice” to her (I saw a tweet suggesting that her hair is awfully long, approximately noose length, from a MOTHER) isn’t the kind of mom I’d want to have, or the kind of mom I’d want to be.

      I’m a big fan of not assuming that I know what I would do in a certain situation until and unless I’ve been there myself – and even then, different people react to things differently. My MOTHER taught me to try and walk a mile in another person’s shoes before I decide I know anything about them. She also taught me that differences are beautiful and they’re what makes the world go ’round.

      So, Parker. Until and unless you end up growing up in a massively dysfunctional family where your parents are incapable of teaching you how to have a “normal” response to tragedy, until and unless you are a high school dropout and teen mom with no support system and very few skills surrounded by a bunch of not very good people trying to do your very best to raise a child without even knowing how, until that child dies and you have no way to cope with grief other than what you’ve been taught by your dysfunctional family (pretend everything is okay), and until you get accused of the malicious murder of that child and are up for trial with the possibility of being killed if 12 people say you’re guilty and 7 of them agree that you should be killed (Florida’s system, which is unconstitutional as of 2 weeks ago), with Nancy Grace riling up housewives across the country to scream for your blood…. shut the hell up about what Casey should or shouldn’t have done.

      There is a dead child here. Nothing will bring Caylee back. But not every death requires a punishment of another person, much less the death of another person.

    • Parker,

      I’m sure you are a perfect mother who has never made any mistakes ever with regard to, well, anything. And I’m certain you’ve thought a LOT about what you’d do if you came upon your child dead in a pool, and you would never EVER do anything in the face of that grief that others might find strange, or weird, or even, god forbid, INDECENT. And since you’re a mom, which also apparently entitles you to superior intelligence and omniscience, I’ll take your word for it that Casey was “completely NOT phased and not grief stricken.” It’s too bad there weren’t more moms on the jury so they could have all had as much insight as you do.

      You’re tired of LegallyFabulous preaching tolerance? Maybe you should read a little more about tolerance. Last time I checked, it involves understanding that not everybody is perfect, not everybody is the same, and that’s allowed and even desirable.

      I, however, am fresh out of tolerance. I’m fucking sick and tired of moms like you preaching from your special spot at God’s right hand about how people who don’t have kids just don’t get it. Fuck you. I’m a mom. I’ve made my share of mistakes in raising my kid and I don’t try to pretend otherwise. You don’t know LegallyFabulous and you don’t know me. You don’t know how you’d react in any given situation and neither do I. And, as a mom, I’d never presume you were a bad mom–much less GUILTY OF MURDER OR MANSLAUGHTER–based on your behavior in the 31 days following the death of your only child. I am eternally thankful that this jury was not composed of people like you, who determined guilt based on your subjective interpretation of Casey’s behavior as not showing the appropriate amount of “genuine emotion and concern.”

      You can have your opinion. You are a douche if you condescend to others who don’t share your opinion simply because they haven’t yet shot a kid out their twat.

    • Lex

      Silly LF and her “class project.” I bet there was a shoebox diorama.

      I, for one, am just so disappointed in myself for not having children so I could have this amazing insight. I should get on that.

    • parker:
      why the FUCK is it relevant if i have kids? what, i can’t have a thought on the issue if i didn’t have kids? by that logic, why is anyone who didn’t go to law school allowed to have a thought about the verdict? for that matter, do you have clinical psychological training to know when someone is a sociopath and not? have you ever examined casey?
      i am entitled to my own damn opinions, regardless of whether i’m similarly situated or not. as are you.

      ninja:
      with this comment, you become my favorite person of all time:
      “I’m fucking sick and tired of moms like you preaching from your special spot at God’s right hand about how people who don’t have kids just don’t get it.”
      amen, sister.

  5. Danggggg. I just posted on my FB that I just want to deactivate my facebook because of all of the reaction. People are idiots. That’s my conclusion.

  6. I started to write a status about it but after seeing the reactions dominating my fb feed, decided it wasn’t worth the hassle. I did, however, affirm the comments of a friend from college who was saying all the right things about burdens of proof, etc. I said she was my only nonlawyer friend to say those things and left her some love. (she does have a degree in history and is studying criminal justice) of course one if her friends jumped all over me because apparently implying that those who don’t have a crim justice/law background MIGHT be less familiar with the technicalities of the system means I kicked her dog and called her names. Sigh.

    At least the good result is we’re fb friends now! 🙂

    • yay! i also get really tired of people getting all kinds of offended when i suggest they may be less informed about a SCOTUS case or the legal system because they don’t have a legal background. i’m not saying they’re stupid, but i’ve spent three years learning this stuff, i know a bit of it.

  7. Anyone who is not a mother is a stupid cunt who is not worthy of opinions on anything.

  8. Just curious… what if I’m a father? can I have an opinion about it then?
    Or is it a Mother’s-only club?

  9. That’s ALL dads? I thought it was just me!

  10. Your facebook friends and my facebook friends could be best friends I think. It’s ridiculous. My status- which caused equal amounts of uproar and TWO de-friendings (I’m so proud!):

    Would like to thank everyone who was outraged by a certain jury verdict for reminding me why our justice system needs to be based on fact and not emotion.

  11. This is why I can never have kids. I just enjoy freeing child murderers too much.

  12. BourbonGirlBen

    The only use of the word “mother” that is appropriate here, Parker, is “mother fucker.” Let me demonstrate: You are a mother fucking idiot becasuse you can’t comprehend the correct definition of tolerant (let alone other things mentioned by my peers above). Go buy a dictionary.

  13. I ❤ all you intelligent, fantastic, and funny women.

  14. LMC

    I’m just in shock that Kendra defriended you because of your friends’ comments. If she’s that sensitive, she shouldn’t have entered the conversation. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

  15. LMC

    And she’s a 46 year-old mom? Really?!

    • LMC

      P.S. My mom uses that line all the time. “You’ll understand when you become a parent.” She says it because she doesn’t want my sister or me to pass judgment on her, my dad, etc. I call bullshit.

  16. LMC

    On a different note, answer me this (simply because I want to know). Who disgusts you more: Casey or OJ?

    My mother answered OJ. What say you?

    • i agree to all 4 of your posts. 😉

      in answer to your question, casey doesn’t disgust me. people handle grief in different ways and it infuriates me that people assume every mother would do the exact same thing. OJ, on the other hand, is gross.

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